Spring Awakening 2K5
Quotes Page
No essays this
time around, but there are a few extra bits. If you are a young DF, it may help
to take the Pete Jones Test. Also, for amusement,
Lawrence had a phone conversation with his girlfriend
during the camp. Plus, the pea fair had some rather� interesting signs.
If you have
anything to add or remove, or any other suggestions or new quotes, please send
me an e-mail on the
double.
Hannah: �I can�t do the washing-up!...
It gives me electric shocks!�
Hannah: [to Jeff] �I love you and
I�m not letting you go until you shave your beard off.�
Jeff: �Have you felt Lucie�s cheeks?
She has really tight cheeks.�
Jeff: �Rohan and Hertha are walking
here, apparently.�
Jessie: �Walking here? They�re not
walking here. They�re just having sex.�
Anna S: �Anna, Anna, stop pulling down
my bra! Anna� Anna, I like my bra!�
Hannah: �Anna can�t pull down my bra
very quickly. It�s a very difficult bra. It�s a scaffolding bra.�
Jeff: �Hannah, can they re-dimple your
face again? Like, poke it with a pen or something?�
Jeff: �So you�re 10% doctor?�
Jessie: �No�� [*pause*] ��wait.
Yes.�
Jeff: �So if there were, like, ten
things wrong with me, you could fix one of them?�
Anna S: [to Pat] �C�mon, Petey.
Er, sweetie.�
*brandishing Pat�s wallet*
Anna S: �I�m not a thief!�
Hannah: �Everybody keep talking louder!�
Pooka: �What, so you can shag behind
the curtains?�
Anna S: �Oh, they�ll be doing it all
day, don�t worry.�
Pat: �Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s
stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s
stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s
stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s
stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s
stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s
stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s stripping! Jessie�s stripping!�
Martin: �That�s a marvellous hat. I�d be
proud to own that.�
Kwik Save.
LOADS of BETTER PRICES than Iceland.
Anna S: �Have you seen your face?�
Pat: �Yeah, beautiful, isn�t it?�
Pooka: �Protozoa!�
Jeff: �What�s that?�
Jessie: �It�s a really small thing.�
Pooka: �Like my penis.�
Anna S: �Isn�t the Da Vinci Code about
Jesus having a baby?�
Pat: �Yeah.�
Jessie: �Aw, you�ve told her the ending
now!�
Anna S: �I know Lucie didn�t give Dan
Ellis head. It�s okay��
Jeff: �Lucie pulled Dan Ellis?�
Anna S: �No, she just gave him head.�
*While Pat and Anna S play with duct tape, Martin tries
to take a picture.*
Martin: �How does it work? Which button
do I press first?�
Jessie: �On!�
Martin: �So, Jessie, I was just
thinking. I lost.�
Jessie: �So did I!�
Hannah: �Bum Touch!�
Anna S: �Breast Touch!�
Jessie: �Rape!�
Jessie: �You just broke her glasses with
gaffer tape!�
Pooka: �There�s some gaffer tape you
can mend them with!�
Pat: �Jessie, where�s your shoe?�
Jessie: �On Hannah!�
Pooka: �What the hell�s going on behind
those curtains?�
Everyone: �They�re having sex!�
Anna: �Oh, I just lost the game.�
[Hatred begins to spread.]
Scots Adam: �I am going
to get so injured this week.�
Jessie: �What have I done with?� oh,
here�s my phone.�
Anna S: �I�m not having a baby. Yet. But
if I pop one out� *pop*� you�ll be the first to know.�
Jessie: �Lucie, don�t jump out of the
window! Lucie, fuck off! Fuck off, Lucie! Fuck off!�
*Anna S whips Pat with a tea-towel.*
Adam: Can you two keep your
sado-masochistic fetishes to yourselves?�
*Anna S whips Adam.*
*Various people tickle Anna S and she thrashes about.*
Scots Adam: �She looks
like she�s having an epileptic fit!�
Anna S: �Lucie, you�re crap at undoing
bras! There are three of them!�
Pooka: �Three bras?�
Adam: �Yeah. Anna needs a lot of
restraint.�
Anna S: �Anna�s getting stressed.�
Pat: �Anna�s always stressed. Let her
be stressed.�
Anna S: �She shouts at me when she�s
stressed.�
Pat: �Slap her then.�
Pat: �If you paint a Woodie logo on
my shirt, I�ll have a huge logo on my back.�
Scots Adam: �It�s a
woodie hoodie, then.�
Dolly: �Fuck.�
Scots Adam: �What did you
do?... Do you need to die?�
Pat: �Ooh! Can I kill her?�
Jessie: �Adam, I hate you.�
Adam: �I love you too, Jessie.�
Room Names:
Buxton, Matlock, Edale, Ilam, Bakewell, Castleton, Ashbourne, Butterton,
Longnor
Anna S: �I don�t wanna know about the
ins and outs of your sex life, Adam!�
Pat: �Well, it�s in, and then out,
and then in��
Dolly: �Oh, humperdinks!�
Hertha: �What�s wrong with sex?�
*Rohan and Hertha disappear into Matlock.*
Various: �Are they having sex?�
Jessie: �Is Adam a lesbian?�
Adam: �Well, I do like girls.�
Anna S: �Please don�t get orgasmic,
Dolly. You know how much it turns me on when you have an orgasm.�
Jessie: �Rohan is always sex.�
Adam: �Rohan is sex.�
Rohan: �Everyone�s playing with my
nipples!�
Anna S: �Is Anna in here?�
Pooka: �Yes, you are.�
Sam: �I�m not going to speak for very
long��
Pete: �I�ve heard that from you
before!�
[Hannah kisses
Hannah: �Please shave!�
[Hannah sees Pete�s face is covered in stubble.]
Hannah: �I�m not even gonna touch
you, Pete!�
Rohan: �Whenever you lose the game��
Lawrence & Pooka: �Oh NO!!�
*Pete is holding a small, chunky, blue plastic radio.*
Owen: �What�s that? My First Radio?�
Pete: �If you aren�t on clan, I�m not
being nasty, but fuck off.�
Kitty: �Adam! Are you going outside for
a cigarette?�
Scots Adam: �No. I�m just
hanging out of the window for fun.�
Carly: �I can�t feel my heart.�
Pooka: �Well, there�s a boob in the
way.�
Kat: �Carly has proper boobs.�
Carly: �What, unlike those improper
boobs?�
Sam: �When we� *long pause* �
uh � reserved this place��
Anna: �Booked?�
Sam: �Don�t smoke inside. In fact,
don�t smoke. It�s bad for you.�
Jeff: �What is Charlie from Busted�s
new band?�
Pete: �Shit!�
Hannah: �You�ve got kids?�
Pete: �Shhhh!�
Anna S:
�I�ve got three kids already!�
*playing with
segmented toy snake*
Pooka:
�Bored of this.�
*Pooka throws
the snake onto the floor.*
Jeff:
�Oi! Careful! That cost a pound!�
Jeff: �A
pound!�
Hannah: �I
went on a� religious pilgrimage, but I�m
not religious.�
Joe: �Were
you the sacrifice, or�?�
Joe:
�Oh, that�s the fucking snake! Someone told me you�d found a real snake, and I
got excited!�
Saoirse:
�The radiator is off. Oh, no, wait, I�m wrong. It�s on 6.�
*Rohan shows
up wearing Hertha�s patterned pyjamas.*
*pause*
Rohan:
�Is there snow?�
�
Kabaddi!!
Sam:
�Did everyone sleep well last night?�
James:
�No.�
Pete:
�Where did you sleep last night, James?�
James: �
Ros:
�I�m a dildo.�
Amber:
�What�s that?�
Ros:
�It�s an adult toy.�
Amber:
�What do adults do with it?�
Ros:
��play with it.�
Amber:
�What, like a game?�
Ros: �Yes!�
Amber:
�Is it like hide and seek?�
Saoirse:
�I�m sex, which is pretty much sex.�
Amber:
�What�s that lyric � �fucking like a train�?�
Dolly:
�It�s �funky like a train�.�
Eleanor:
��Cuz trains are funky, right.�
Amber:
�Blatantly!!�
Pete:
�Penfold was blatantly gay.�
*massage
session*
Zo�:
�Adam, can I be next?�
Scots Adam:
�No. I�m next.�
*Rohan is
massaging Jessie. He reaches for her arms and squeezes one, looking confused.*
Rohan:
��There�s nothing in there!�
Kitty:
�Which room�s the sex in? I want to have sex��
Jessie: �I
sprained my thumb on Hannah�s face once. I don�t like her face.�
*Carly shows
up with her hand �bandaged� with�*
Pooka:
�Ah, so you did end up using my white duct tape, yes?�
Lucie:
�Jessie?... Oh, you�re still at it.�
Anna S:
�Rohan, I�ve got something for you to suck!�
Carly:
�Let�s play a game!�
Adam:
�How about
Indeed! /
I say! / Here you are! / Thank you, sir! / No, thank you! /
I�m terribly sorry! / Cough! / God Bless Her Majesty!
Pooka: �Don�t look at the light!�
Adam: �I can�t help it! It�s so
beautiful!�
Alex: �I�m sober enough to play Mafia,
please let me pla� THERE�S A FLY IN THE ROOM��
*Playing Mafia.*
Jessie: �I think it was anybody except
for me.�
Saoirse: �I think it was anybody except
for me.�
Jessie: �Okay, everyone except us.�
Kate Harte: �The Mafia,
yes?�
Adam: �Yes.�
Kate Harte: [points to
three sitting on a sofa] �They look pretty comfy.�
Adam: �The Sofa Mafia?�
Alex: �People are back from the pub.�
Pooka: �Nothing gets past you, does
it?�
Anna: �
Anna: �Nothing. I just like saying �
Anna S: �I�m a big fat gay!�
Pooka: �You�re not fat��
Adam: �Anna Donne!�
Pooka: �I know.�
Adam: �I was just pointing her out to
you in case you�d forgotten who she is.�
Hannah: �I got a D in my Critical Thinking
essay.�
Joe: �How do you feel about that?�
Hannah: ��Crap.�
Hannah: ��because he wanked all day and
he wanked all night��
Anna S: �I�m not gay and I don�t smell.�
Pooka: ��What do you use your nose for
if you don�t smell?�
Anna S: �Well, your face would look
really stupid without a nose!�
*Carly�s secret friend message reads: �Carly! HERE�S A
VEGAN treat for you!�*
Adam: �I thought this was: �Carly!
HERE�S A VEGAN�!�
*He holds up the sign next to
Carly:
�Yes, Kitty, you can borrow some of my clothes. At least six people are wearing
[my] clothes at the moment.�
Jessie: �I
think more than six people are wearing clothes at the moment��
Edmund: �I
thought, �that�s a stubbly female�.
Hannah: �I
saw Rohan�s willy last night.�
Pooka:
�Where?�
[Hannah points
to Rohan�s crotch.]
Pooka: �Looks
like he�s raping Jessie.�
Carly:
�This is my dress for the wedding.�
*It�s pink.*
*Kitty squirts
Pete with a water pistol.*
Pete:
�You fucking bitches!�
Polly:
�Joner, on your Jod!�
*Lucie walks
in.*
Rohan:
�It�s a breast!�
Pooka &
Adam: �Sidestep left!� [many times]
LOST:
game, small animals, beer, phone (but I found it)
Jessie:
�It�s like summer! It�s sunny� it�s almost like spring has awoken.�
Saoirse:
�You could almost say: it�s like a �spring awakening�.�
*Playing Mao;
Jack puts down four �badgers� and a nine of spades.*
Jack:
�That�s-the-badger-nine-of-spades-that�s-the-badger-that�s-the-badger-that�s-the-badger!�
Jeni Dixon: [to
Owen Polley] �You�ve gained a lot of weight!�
*About to hit
the �stuck� door really hard.*
Dan:
�Now this is what I did kung-fu for.�
Kat: �All
this camp and we didn�t even bother to make friends with the sheep!�
Pooka: �I
think we got a little too close to the sheep at DF Kamp so that kind of makes
up for it.�
James:
�Rosie got way too close to a sheep last Spring Awakening.�
*General
murmur of agreement.*
Ros: �I
think I should put my shoes on.�
Rohan:
�Yes, especially as there�s glass on the floor.�
Ros:
�Why?�
Rohan:
�Picture frame burst. Spontaneously.�
Kat: [reading
from a problem page] �I�m a bit concerned about my husband�s left testicle.
It seems to have an extra little bit attached to it. Is this something we
should be worried about?�
Adam:
�No. It�s his penis.�
Pooka:
�You know how they say every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten?�
Adam &
Lawrence: �Yes.�
Pooka:
�Well, there�s KittenHate.com, there
you can log every wank you have.�
Adam:
�What happens when a kitten masturbates?�
[
[after
vacuuming]
Jessie: *gasp*
�Does anyone have a rainbow glove that they may have � lost?�
Adam: �7
down is avocado.�
Jessie: �I
like avocados. I want one.�
Pooka:
�I�ve never had one.�
Adam:
�You�ve never had an avocado?�
Kitty:
�Avocado? Is there an avocado?�
Adam:
�No, just in the crossword. The answer to 7 down is avocado.�
Amber:
�Avocado? Where?�
Adam:
�No, I don�t have any avocados!�
Amber:
�ADAM HAS A SACKLOAD OF AVOCADOS!�
[pause]
Adam:
�And they�re all mine!� *runs*
*Waiting at
Zo�:
�Laurie, you�ve turned blue!�
Other Laurie:
�Laurie Brown, Laurie Blue!�
Kitty:
�Oh! I didn�t use my double ended lollipop!�
Other Laurie:
�Better use it quick! He�s going!�
*Everyone
laughs.*
Amber:
�Good one, Laurie! Not that I understand why it�s funny, but it is��
Title of page
in FHM: �THE GAME!�